i am going for a walk in this brave new world.
i will take my camera, in case something smells different.

some days i feel like this...

macau 8.14.08

finally some productivity!!
her mom's computer i think fixed!
bills paid
tickets bought
glass wear cleaned
poem completed
now to try making some sort of a white bean chili...

awoke BEFORE the sun today.. not sure what caused that. but true enough, i could not go back to sleep.
called sweet pea, she sounds calmer and a little bit more focused today.
there is around 2 inches of snow and more due. its wet. blowing. and looks horrid out. thankfully, i have no need to go out today, except maybe to venture for the mail.
i have a new page housing just poems using or about math/philosophy/relationships.
obama is gaining in the polls. will clinton bow out gracefully? what does it mean to have a true liberal run against a true conservative?

separation occurs 1130am tomorrow
the tears, the stress. its all mounted. i can hardly stop crying. i suppose there is nothing wrong with being a girl in this department.
she's scared, overwhelmed. i have tried to be a steady rock.
i so want to jump to the next chapter and togetherness. i can hardly wait for her return and there has not even been a departure yet.
i have work to which to look forward. i have visits to which to look forward.
i want to be happy <repeat>.

she came home

she was hysterical and crying so i delivered a sandwich all the way across town.
she was spent and exhausted so i held her close and safe all night long
she is anxious and self absorbed so here i sit, waiting, hoping she will acknowledge my unwavering love and my own separation anxiety.